Hyung said he sometimes came here with his family. The most recent time had been a month ago, and he said the cafe atmosphere made him think of me a lot, since I majored in sculpture.

“How do you like the place? Do you like it?”

“It’s so good. If it weren’t so far, I’d want to become a regular!”

But distance wasn’t the issue. Looking at the prices on the menu, it was a level where even if I wanted to become a regular, I couldn’t. How was a single brunch set this expensive!

It felt like it was on par with fine dining places I had only heard of and never been to. As if reading my inner thoughts, hyung naturally said he would treat me, and since we were out this far, I should order as much as I wanted to eat.

In the end, leaving behind many unfamiliar menus full of awkward ingredients, I chose the most basic and familiar one. The most basic brunch dish set, with tomatoes, bacon, scrambled eggs, toast, cheese, salad, and so on.

Even that was expensive, but after ordering it, I wondered if food that was meant to be eaten at such a high price but only tasted like something I already knew was actually a waste of money. I made a miserable face, thinking I had ordered wrong, and hyung in turn looked lost.

“Let’s order again. Or it’s okay to add something.”

“No! That would be a waste of money and such a hassle….”

“If that’s the case, should we just switch menus? I like what you ordered too.”

“N, no…! It’s okay!”

A brief back and forth continued because of hyung’s stubborn thoughtfulness toward me. While trying to stop hyung, I broke out in a sweat, and it occurred to me that it had, in a way, been a long time since I had focused on some small matter like this and gotten worked up.

For the past few weeks, my worries had mostly been about the frustration from Lee Taegang’s rude outing and exclusion, my hurt feelings toward Hyeon Jinhoo who treated me so carelessly, more recently the anxiety that the videos might leak, and the disgust piling up from being forced by the demons. Worrying about some trivial thing like regretting the brunch menu I had just ordered had had no room to enter my life.

Suddenly, the fact that I was out here in the suburbs with Sungmin hyung, eating at such a nice place, felt unreal and precious, sweet. It was like a dream allowed only for a few hours. The drinks and food that were served a little later tasted delicious, making my earlier worries feel pointless. In the middle of escaping my sewer-like reality by stuffing my mouth with food while feeling overwhelmingly happy, it happened.

Buzzzzzz-

Clang-!

The phone in my pants pocket rang, and I jumped up like a wanted fugitive caught by the police. On top of the slowly emptying ceramic plate, the fork and knife fell with a sharp noise. The other customers and staff in the restaurant turned their gazes toward me, but I didn’t even have time to care about that. Someone was looking for me. Was it Park Gyuseok, or Hyeon Jinhoo….?

[Jinhoo hyung]

When I confirmed the familiar name on my phone screen, my heart pounded with fear. The three letters “Jinhoo hyung,” saved as they were from before I knew the true nature of Hyeon Jinhoo, now felt exactly like a death sentence. It had been days since I blocked him, and the instant I unblocked him because I was scared of blackmail, I felt my blood run cold at his furious contact. Why is he calling…. Did he come to my studio and knock on the door? Is he already searching for me just a few hours after I disappeared?

The vibration kept going, but I stayed frozen like a corpse, only looking down at the phone screen. Sungmin hyung, who was looking at me worriedly, came into view, but I didn’t have the strength to respond for his sake.

“Dooyoon, what’s wrong?”

“…….”

“You’re really pale right now.”

Only then did I lift my head and look at hyung. I wanted to apologize for suddenly breaking the calm mood of the restaurant, but first I needed to survive. My breathing grew short and hyperventilation began, and hyung, startled, sat close beside me in a hurry.

He pulled my body toward him so I could lean against his broad chest, then held my face and told me to breathe slowly. When I faced hyung’s face, which was so close it felt like he might kiss me, his brown eyes seemed to be etched into mine.

It’s okay. Breathe. Exhale slowly, good…. Hyung soothed me and patted my cheek. When that still didn’t seem to improve, he called a staff member and asked them to bring a plastic bag or paper bag, saying I needed to breathe into that.

When the employee thankfully appeared holding a yellow paper bag that looked like a baguette bag, my breathing had regained some normal speed. Even my pale face got some color back, and I was no longer sweating coldly.

Hyung also let out a relieved breath and carefully stroked my head. He laid my head so it rested on his shoulder, and kept rubbing it for a long time so I could find stability. My abnormal breathing had calmed down, but helpless tears kept flowing and soaking Sungmin hyung’s shoulder. I felt like I had become a nuisance in every possible way today.

“That was Jinhoo’s call just now, right?”

“…Yes.”

After leaving the restaurant, hyung and I were walking through a civic park with thick shady trees. Moving my body in a cool, pleasant place where the sunlight was fairly blocked off helped a lot with the mood, but the three missed calls from Hyeon Jinhoo heavily pressed down on the corner of my mind. Sungmin hyung probably also knew my condition now.

“You’re the one avoiding them now, right?”

“…Them?”

I’m not just talking about Hyeon Jinhoo alone. Sungmin hyung was looking at me quietly, as if he knew everything. Was that a sign to tell it all? My mind was complicated and I still couldn’t tell how far it was okay to go…. Unable to reply carelessly, I lowered my head, and hyung let out a small sigh.

“I already had a feeling they were bothering you. You can tell me everything.”

“That’s…. Hyungs didn’t hit me or anything like that.”

“I know, I didn’t mean it in that sense either.”

Hearing that, shame suddenly welled up. It seemed hyung was finally going to speak about the sexual exploitation those two hyungs had been carrying out.

“We entered college together, but since we’ve known each other through our parents since we were kids, we just ended up becoming long time friends. Jinhoo, Gyuseok, and me.”

“…….”

“But I never thought of them as real friends. The older we got, the less our vibes matched.”

I stayed silent and listened without answering. The scorching weather had eased up a little after noon. A cool breeze passing through the trees moved Sungmin hyung’s thin shirt back and forth, announcing its presence.

“I was sick of Jinhoo treating his lovers carelessly, and I was also stunned by his attitude of cheating on his girlfriend and then bragging about it. The more time passed, the less conscientious he became.”

“…….”

“At some point Gyuseok even joined in and it seemed like they were doing obscene stuff together…. I thought maybe it was time for me to step out of this group. In fact, I had already been ignoring their calls and not hanging out with them for a few weeks.”

“Really…?”

I answered weakly and followed hyung closely behind him. I wondered for a moment whether his broad shoulders and strong looking back were shoulders I could lean on, or elegant shoulders I should avoid because if I clung to him, I’d drag him down into the sewer with me. Then he stopped walking all of a sudden. I almost bumped my face into his back.

“Just be honest with me, Dooyoon.”

“About what, hyung?”

“I thought you were doing those… bizarre things with them of your own volition.”

“Ah….”

Hyung continued speaking with his back still turned to me. It was only his back, but I could still feel how carefully and difficultly he had gone through his thoughts before bringing this up.

“I wondered if some young kid had been brainwashed without knowing better. I thought maybe you liked Jinhoo and followed whatever he said, and it ended up getting that far, so maybe I should even force you to separate from them.”

“…….”

“But I was more worried that my unnecessary interference would damage my relationship with you. You might have wanted it too.”

“…No!”

My voice suddenly burst out loudly. I could clearly tell what hyung had misunderstood. That absurd misunderstanding that I had willingly enjoyed a threesome with those guys.

Even though I had promised myself I would carefully confess to hyung later, after taking my time about the disastrous situation I was in, I wanted to correct this misunderstanding right now. I had never once willingly spread my legs for Park Gyuseok.

“I didn’t know…. That Gyuseok hyung was sleeping with me.”

“…What are you talking about?”

Sungmin hyung’s shocked face, as if he’d been hit in the brain, was a look I’d never seen before. It made sense that he wouldn’t understand. Three of us going into one room and having a sex session, with one person wearing a blindfold the whole time or sleeping with the lights off, and not even realizing a threesome was happening, would sound like a made-up excuse to anyone.

“…It’s kind of hard to say here…. It’s just that….”

“…Should we go to the car?”

“Huuh….”

I was about to say yes, let’s go to the car and talk quietly there, but then my strength gave out in my legs. Going to the car and being alone together also seemed to be a trigger that touched my trauma. It felt like the memories of panting and having sex in the passenger seat of Hyeon Jinhoo’s car, and then in the back seat of Park Gyuseok’s car, were drilling into my head.

As I grabbed my head and collapsed from the nauseating dizziness, hyung came over with startled steps. He looked like he was checking whether I’d gone into hyperventilation again. In a voice trembling with tears, and while strangely slurring my words, I began a long, maybe too long, complaint.

“Gyuseok hyung and Jinhoo hyung keep coming to my house. Even though they say they’re not doing it anymore, they keep demanding sex. I don’t know how to shake them off. I don’t want to live. I feel like I’m going crazy…. Even now, it feels like it would be better to die here than go back into that house…. Hic!”

“…….”

At first Sungmin hyung looked very flustered, but as he quietly watched my murmuring and unusually unstable state, his expression gradually became calmer. When I stopped complaining and was trying to steady my breathing, Sungmin hyung, who had kept silent all along, finally spoke.

“From today, let’s go to my house immediately.”

“Huh?”

“Stay at my house during break, even if it’s only for the vacation period. There are empty rooms anyway.”

At the unexpected suggestion, I blinked slowly. But hyung, as if he wasn’t just saying it lightly, hurriedly got me up and supported me to the parked car. He opened the passenger door himself and put me inside, then immediately started the car.