AD | Chapter 17

Lu Qingfeng only lifted his eyes for a brief scan, steadily reversing the car into the parking spot. The engine cut off, and the surroundings suddenly fell silent.

Yet he showed no intention of opening the door. He turned around, his gaze landing on Lin Shuyao’s profile. The air seemed to solidify in that moment. After a long while, he finally spoke, his voice somewhat tight: “Lin Shuyao, you said you had also seen the anonymous email seven years ago. So, what did you find out from your investigation?” He paused, his Adam’s apple rolling slightly, before he finally asked: “Were you… were you ever—”

“Were you ever made things difficult for you by someone?” Lin Shuyao finished his sentence for him.

Lu Qingfeng gave a soft “Mm.” Lin Shuyao looked out the window again, his voice very light: “I can’t remember clearly.”

As his words fell, the car interior plunged into complete dead silence.

It was unknown how much time passed before Lu Qingfeng’s deep voice sounded again: “I remember that back then, you really liked literary creation. You told me you wanted to apply for the Chinese Department at A University.” He spoke, his tone pausing for a beat, “Why did you end up studying forensic medicine instead?”

Lin Shuyao let out a low chuckle, but there was no smile in his eyes: “What other reason could there be? I just lost interest, that’s all.”

After speaking, he picked up his phone and checked the time. It was already eleven-thirty at night. He waved the phone at Lu Qingfeng: “Captain Lu, it’s late. When can I go home?”

But Lu Qingfeng suddenly reached out and clasped his wrist. They were very close, their warm breaths almost spraying onto each other’s faces: “One last question.”

Lin Shuyao’s breathing hitched slightly.

“Seven years ago, why did your sister jump off the building?” He stared at Lin Shuyao’s suddenly constricted pupils, asking word by word: “Was it really suicide?”

Hearing his words, Lin Shuyao shook his head gently, a smile floating to the corners of his lips: “That is not just one question.”

“But…” He wanted to press further, but was softly interrupted by Lin Shuyao: “I’m not feeling well. I’m going back first.”

“Lin Shuyao! It’s been seven years! Even if I were sentenced to death, there would have to be a charge, right? You disappeared back then with just a ‘I don’t like it anymore,’ and now you appear in front of me like this again. What exactly do you want me to do?”

Lin Shuyao lowered his eyes upon hearing this. His voice was very light, so light it was like a sigh: “Because I realized… I seem to be a sinner. My sister was right. If we were together, we would harm everyone…”

As soon as he finished speaking, he pulled his hand away, got out of the car, and fled as if escaping, leaving Lu Qingfeng frozen in the car, too shocked to speak.

Lin Shuyao got out of the car. He walked almost supporting himself against the wall. The night wind scraped across his cheeks, carrying a bone-chilling cold. His vision blurred, and regret rose in his heart. Why had he revealed matters from seven years ago to Lu Qingfeng? Perhaps it was because he was truly too tired, tired to the point where he could no longer bear the secret from seven years ago alone.

It wasn’t until he hurriedly returned home and turned on the lights that the nerves, which had been taut all along, finally seemed to relax suddenly.

He leaned against the wall and stared into space for a moment. Then he picked up a soft cloth from the table, walked over to Lin Wan’s memorial portrait, and wiped it again and again. His fingertips finally rested on that smiling face.

“Sister, I miss you,” he whispered softly. “Back then, you told me to leave him, saying we weren’t the same kind of people… I refused to believe it. Now, I believe it.”

“But Sister,” his voice was so quiet it was nearly inaudible, “whether it was seven years ago or now, I seem to… still like him just as much.”

“Besides, in matters like this, how can there be any should or shouldn’t…”

Memories surged forward like a tide. The scene of coming out to Lin Wan seven years ago remained vivid even now.

It was after school. Amidst the bustling crowd at the school gate, Lin Wan spotted Lin Shuyao at a glance. She was about to step forward, but her footsteps suddenly halted.

Because she saw that Lin Shuyao was walking side by side with a boy. Their shadows were stretched long under the sun. He had his head slightly lowered, the roots of his ears flushed red, yet there was a soft smile on the corner of his mouth.

Lin Wan frowned slightly. The boy’s profile looked somewhat familiar, but she couldn’t quite recall where she had seen him.

Her phone vibrated abruptly in her pocket, interrupting her thoughts. Lin Wan was startled, then pressed answer.

The male voice on the other end was lazy and flat, yet she managed to catch a trace of imperceptible impatience within it. She pursed her lips and remained silent.

After a few exchanges of trivialities, she was about to hang up when the voice on the other end suddenly changed topic: “Xiao Wan, I heard your younger brother is in his third year of high school? Boys at this age are often confused, with hormones having nowhere to go, just like I was back in the day. As his older sister, you need to keep a closer eye on him.”

The hand holding the phone tightened unconsciously. Lin Wan frowned lightly and finally asked: “Teacher, when you say this, are you…?”

The man on the other end gave a low chuckle, his meaning unclear: “Nothing much. I just seemed to hear some student activity on your end, so I mentioned it casually. Don’t take it to heart.” As soon as he finished speaking, the call was cut off.

The busy signal beeped in her ear. Lin Wan held her phone, standing there in a daze.

Those words about her brother were like a thin thorn, deeply piercing her heart.

“Sis—” Lin Shuyao’s voice sounded at that exact moment. “Is Dad not home tonight? What are we eating?”

She snapped back to reality, turning to look at her younger brother, who had stood in front of her without her noticing. Her gaze was heavy: “I just saw you walking very closely with a boy from school. That person… seems somewhat familiar?”

Unexpectedly, before she could finish her sentence, her brother scratched his head and said: “Sis, it’s normal for you to find him familiar. You’ve met him. He’s Uncle Lu’s child, named Lu Qingfeng.”

Before Lin Wan could finish her sentence, her brother in front of her scratched his head, grinning at her: “Sis, it’s normal for you to find him familiar. You’ve met him. He’s Uncle Lu’s child, named Lu Qingfeng.”

The air seemed to stagnate for an instant.

Lin Wan stood there stunned, some astonishment appearing on her face.

So… the teacher’s meaningful reminder referred to this.

But why?

How could the teacher know about her brother’s affairs?

Thinking this, Lin Wan tentatively asked Lin Shuyao: “Are you two… very close?”

Lin Shuyao’s Adam’s apple rolled several times. The words hovered at his lips, repeatedly swallowed back, before he finally seemed to make up his mind: “Sis, since things have come to this point, there is something I want to tell you. But you must promise not to tell Mom and Dad after hearing it, and not to scold me.”

Although she was mentally prepared, she was still somewhat shocked when she actually heard these words. The siblings stood together, facing each other in silence. In the end, Lin Wan surrendered early, letting out a sigh: “Go ahead and say it. Are you dating? Sis won’t tell Mom and Dad.”

Upon hearing this, the young man’s eyes instantly lit up, but dimmed again the moment they met his sister’s gaze. This manner of wearing his heart on his sleeve made Lin Wan want to laugh, but she still softened her voice: “You kid, what exactly have you done to act so mysteriously?”

Lin Shuyao looked nervous. He took a deep breath and forced himself to say: “Sis, actually, the person I like isn’t a girl… but… a boy.”

Lin Wan stood there stunned for a moment. She was somewhat shocked, and it took a good while for her to recover before she spoke: “What did you just say? Say it again!”

But Lin Shuyao had already lowered his head and stopped speaking.

Lin Wan looked at her younger brother in front of her. Her chest felt blocked by something. It took her a long while to find her voice: “Ah Yao, I don’t oppose you dating. It’s normal for boys to date at this age. But why, with so many girls available, do you specifically like a boy?”

The air stagnated. Lin Shuyao hung his head, saying nothing.

Seeing he didn’t answer, Lin Wan sighed lightly: “Sister can help you hide it for now, but it can only be hidden for a short time. Paper cannot wrap fire forever. How long do you think you can keep it hidden? And if you are with a man, have you considered what problems you will face in the future?”

Lin Shuyao raised his head, words stuck in his throat. Every word she said struck his heart. The college entrance exam, university, long-distance relationships… There were too many uncertainties in the future.

But at this moment, Lin Shuyao knew clearly that he just liked Lu Qingfeng.

With this thought, he was about to speak when Lin Wan’s voice sounded again: “Ah Yao, you two are not suitable. Given our family’s situation, so many eyes in the bureau are watching Dad. We have to be cautious. He is about to retire! How will Dad be able to hold his head up in the future? Besides, you are indeed with Lu Qingfeng now, but what about later? After the college entrance exam? After starting work? What about long-distance? Can a family like ours withstand the criticism along the way?”

Lin Shuyao lowered his head again.

Seeing him like this, Lin Wan immediately frowned and pressed: “Ah Yao, let Sis ask you. Is the boy you like that Lu Qingfeng? How long have you two… been together?”

Lin Shuyao pursed his lips tightly, his hands at his sides clenching silently. Seeing his appearance, Lin Wan urged him with frustration: “Hurry up and say it. If you don’t clarify, this matter can’t be resolved, and Sis can’t help you.”

“Yes… We’ve been together for almost a year,” Lin Shuyao said softly.

Lin Wan remained silent, giving no response. He suddenly raised his head: “Sis, I really like him. I don’t care what Mom and Dad think. So what if we are two men? Even if we are looked down upon by secular views, I accept it, because this is the person I like.”

Lin Wan looked at him for a long time, finally shaking her head. Another sigh came. She seemed to make some kind of determination: “Fine. Sis promises you. I will hide it from Mom and Dad for you. But if Mom and Dad discover what’s going on between you two, you will bear the consequences yourself.”

“Okay.” Lin Shuyao nodded solemnly.

But at that time, he didn’t expect that this conversation would influence the future so profoundly.

Thinking and thinking, tears once again blurred Lin Shuyao’s vision. He wiped away a tear and gently stroked Lin Wan’s black-and-white framed photo in front of him.

After a long while, Lin Shuyao finally left to wash up. Before returning to his bedroom, he turned to look at the living room and whispered, “Goodnight,” before getting into bed.