Chapter 30 — All the CEOs Are Fighting Over Me

When An Zao entered the private room, he saw that An Chi was supporting Yan Dun while talking to him. Yan Dun's cheeks were slightly flushed. An Zao immediately recalled the message sent by “Yan Dun’s Guardian Angel,” saying that Yan Dun had been plied with alcohol by a dirty old pervert in a private room.

The fleeing President Shi was probably the “dirty old pervert” in question, but although Yan Dun's face was red, he seemed mentally alert. He didn't look remotely drunk enough to be unconscious or in imminent danger. His clothes were neat and his expression calm; it was obvious he hadn't actually been harmed.

Only then did An Zao relax.

“What happened?”

Yan Dun had already been surprised when An Chi arrived. Seeing him chase President Shi away had actually been a relief. Otherwise, according to his character setting, he wouldn't have been allowed to resist and could only “breathe delicately and weakly.” He had no idea how that scene would have ended.

Thankfully, An Chi had arrived in time and saved him from a “crisis of chastity.”

But now An Zao had shown up too, and things were getting a little too lively.

“You... you're here too?” Yan Dun said awkwardly, rubbing his nose.

Hearing the word “too,” An Zao's brows knit for half a second before he immediately put on his trademark smile.

“The way you said that makes it sound like I'm the unnecessary one here.”

The joking tone somehow made the remark even more unsettling.

Yan Dun became even more embarrassed.

“I-I was just surprised. Why are all of you here?”

“Little Yan...” Hua Daimao appeared with one hand on his slim waist, radiating flirtatious energy. “You weren't scared, were you?”

Yan Dun's eyes nearly popped out.

“You're here too?!”

One mountain can't hold two tigers, and one private room definitely couldn't hold three domineering CEOs. The moment Hua Daimao walked in, it felt like there wasn't enough oxygen left in the room.

An Chi had never liked Hua Daimao.

“Exactly. Why are you here?”

Hua Daimao held up his phone and displayed the group chat.

“I'm in the group too. Are you blind?”

An Chi froze.

After carefully examining his phone, he discovered that Hua Daimao had indeed been included in the recipients. Too embarrassed to admit that he hadn't even noticed it was a group chat, he simply snorted coldly and maintained his CEO dignity.

At the mention of the group chat, An Zao sensed that something wasn't quite right.

“Do you know who pulled us into that group and sent the message?”

“I've already sent people to investigate,” Hua Daimao replied.

As an outlaw-type CEO, Hua Daimao was well acquainted with the darker corners of society. If anyone could investigate efficiently, it was him. Unfortunately, none of them knew that the system's black technology was essentially an unbreakable bug in this world.

The conversation left Yan Dun completely confused.

“What group chat? What message?”

“Forget that,” An Chi said, looking at him with concern. “Why were you here? How did you almost get into trouble?”

Yan Dun was about to explain when the system spoke in his head:

Mary Sue must survive until the final chapter. Please keep that in mind.

Yan Dun immediately understood.

So I can't let the CEOs know that Bai Lisu was the one who set me up, right?

The Customer Service Agent replied:

Correct. If the CEOs find out Mary Sue was acting as a pimp, she won't survive today, Customer.

Yan Dun: ...

But wasn't I supposed to slap Mary Sue in the face?!

The system replied:

The mission is to humiliate Mary Sue, not kill Mary Sue, Dear Customer.

In other words, in this face-slapping novel, the protagonist had to repeatedly humiliate Mary Sue—but not destroy her completely. He had to slap her down, give her a chance to recover, let her scheme again, and then slap her down again.

Only then could the title I Slapped Mary Sue's Face Swollen be fulfilled.

Yan Dun couldn't make sense of the logic.

So this is basically a story about beating a tiger, letting it go, then beating it again, over and over? Sounds weirdly environmentally friendly. Sustainable tiger management.

Unfortunately, the three CEOs in front of him weren't easy to fool. Unable to think of a way to protect Bai Lisu, Yan Dun resorted to the oldest tactic:

“I suddenly feel really dizzy...”

“Are you okay?” all three CEOs asked simultaneously.

“Very dizzy... ah, I'm fainting.”

And he promptly pretended to pass out.

Thanks to the universal-heartthrob halo, Yan Dun's weak-and-fragile act was absurdly effective. Even such terrible acting managed to fool the CEOs' supposedly sharp and perceptive eyes.

However, Yan Dun forgot one thing.

The Customer Service Agent had previously mentioned that An Zao's soul came from the real world and was unaffected by the heartthrob halo.

So while Yan Dun's fake fainting looked flawless to the other CEOs, to An Zao it looked about as convincing as a terrible soccer dive.

Watching the performance, An Zao found it strange and couldn't help feeling suspicious.

Before he could figure it out, he saw An Chi and Hua Daimao acting as if they'd taken fake medicine. Neither noticed that Yan Dun was pretending, and both became extremely worried, loudly demanding an ambulance.

An Zao once again questioned reality:

Is there something wrong with me, or something wrong with this world?

──── ୨୧ ────

Yan Dun was subsequently admitted to a VIP suite in a private hospital.

The doctor wasn't immune to the heartthrob halo, but he still possessed professional medical knowledge. One glance told him that Yan Dun was perfectly healthy.

Still, because the CEOs were so worried, the doctor reluctantly performed an examination before delivering his conclusion with a straight face:

“I believe he's simply had too much to drink. Some rest should be enough.”

Then he left.

Yan Dun continued lying on the bed pretending to be unconscious. His eyes remained shut, but his ears were wide open as he secretly listened to the CEOs' conversation.

An Chi was the first to lose his temper.

“That Old Shi has some nerve! He dared touch my person!”

“Your person?” Hua Daimao laughed mockingly. “Weren't you planning to fire him?”

An Chi choked.

Hua Daimao pressed his advantage.

“If you hadn't been planning to fire Little Yan, he wouldn't have gone to meet Old Shi in the first place. When you think about it, you're the one who caused this.”

An Chi's face turned pale.

“How is this my fault?”

An Zao caught the implication.

“President Hua seems to know some inside details?”

“Nothing much. I happened to run into Old Shi and asked him a few questions.”

He conveniently skipped over the interrogation and simply said:

“He admitted that he lured Little Yan out by offering him a job.”

An Chi was furious.

“The audacity! I'll destroy him!”

“Too late,” Hua Daimao replied lightly, hands in his skinny-jean pockets.

An Zao smiled.

“Does President Shi prefer the ocean or the sky?”

Hua Daimao raised an eyebrow.

“The ocean.”

An Zao nodded knowingly.

An Chi looked baffled.

“What ocean? What sky? Why do you care what he likes? Are you planning to date him?”

Hua Daimao suddenly found this hilarious and pinched An Chi's cheek.

“Kids shouldn't ask so many questions.”

An Chi slapped his hand away.

“Don't touch me! I'm afraid your flirtiness is contagious!”

Hua Daimao merely smiled.

An Zao interrupted:

“Don't make so much noise. You'll disturb Yan Dun's rest.”

An Chi immediately quieted down.

But Hua Daimao asked:

“Why hasn't he woken up yet?”

The moment Yan Dun heard that, every muscle in his body tensed.

An Zao smiled faintly, sat beside the bed, and gently pinched the back of Yan Dun's neck.

Yan Dun shuddered and immediately opened his eyes, meeting An Zao's naturally affectionate gaze.

“Little Yan, you're awake?” An Chi exclaimed joyfully.

Since his eyes were already open, Yan Dun couldn't continue pretending.

“Mm,” he answered weakly. “Where am I?”

“At the hospital,” An Chi said. “Are you alright?”

Sitting up, Yan Dun replied:

“Thank you for your concern, President An. I'm much better now.”

Hua Daimao asked:

“Do you remember what happened?”

Yan Dun nodded.

“I remember President Shi saying he'd help me find a job, but then he tried to force me into a casting-couch situation.”

He deliberately left Bai Lisu out of the story.

Since this matched the information Hua Daimao had extracted from President Shi, nobody suspected anything.

Still, Yan Dun found it strange.

If President Shi confessed everything, why didn't he expose Bai Lisu?

The Customer Service Agent answered:

Because the plot requires it, Customer.

Yan Dun: ...

Fair enough.

──── ୨୧ ────

After hearing the story, An Chi looked deeply guilty.

“This is all my fault. I almost got you hurt. I'll take responsibility for you.”

The moment those words were spoken, Yan Dun's face lit up.

The system had just announced:

Successfully collected CEO line: “Baby, I'll take responsibility for you.” ✓

Meanwhile, Hua Daimao looked distinctly unhappy.

“What exactly are you taking responsibility for?”

An Chi declared:

“Yan Dun, I will never fire you for as long as I live!”

Yan Dun brightened.

“For life?”

An Chi raised a finger.

“I swear it. For my entire life!”

Yan Dun quickly checked his list of CEO lines.

One of them was: “I swear I'll only want you for the rest of my life.”

He immediately asked:

“So will there only be me?”

An Chi blinked.

“Only you? Wouldn't that work you to death?”

In his mind, one secretary obviously couldn't handle all the work.

“...”

So close!

Hua Daimao laughed.

“Young Master An is still childish. He says whatever comes into his head. Promises about a lifetime? Little Yan, you're an adult. You should know that the fuller a promise sounds, the less trustworthy it usually is.”

An Chi glared.

“What do you mean by that?”

Ignoring him, Hua Daimao fixed his gaze on Yan Dun.

“I've built my reputation on keeping my word. I never take back what I say.”

His eyes remained locked on Yan Dun.

“My offer still stands. Whatever An Corporation gives you, I can give you double.”

An Chi exploded.

“You shameless flirt! You're poaching my employee right in front of me?!”

Hua Daimao smiled.

“That's unreasonable. You keep calling Little Yan your person. Does Little Yan agree?”

An Chi whipped his head around so quickly he resembled a golden retriever spotting a frisbee.

His sparkling puppy eyes fixed on Yan Dun.

“Do you agree?”

Yan Dun froze.

You're hiring a secretary, not fighting over a wife!

Despite their completely different temperaments, An Chi and Hua Daimao looked at him in remarkably similar ways:

sharp as blades, full of confidence, utterly convinced they would win.

For the first time, Yan Dun genuinely felt like the coveted protagonist of a romance novel.

Feeling cornered, he instinctively scooted closer to An Zao.

The unconscious gesture clearly pleased An Zao. A faint, almost imperceptible smile curved his lips.

Only then did An Zao finally speak.

“Yan Dun has only just woken up. He's still weak. Let's not disturb him.”

Yan Dun hurriedly agreed.

“Right. I still don't feel very well. I'd like to rest.”

“Fine. Rest well,” An Chi said, staring at him intensely.

“Remember what I said,” Hua Daimao added, his gaze equally burning.

An Zao merely smiled.

“Get some rest.”

After the three CEOs left, Yan Dun finally breathed a sigh of relief.

He immediately asked the Customer Service Agent:

“By the way, how did they all know I was in trouble?”

Bai Lisu sent them an anonymous message asking them to save you.

Yan Dun was touched.

“Really? She's actually so considerate. Good thing I covered for her in front of the CEOs!”

The Customer Service Agent was also touched.

This is the first time I've seen a protagonist and a villainess support each other with such loyalty and camaraderie, Dear Customer.

Yan Dun flopped onto the bed.

Just then, his phone chimed.

A message appeared:

『 Boss Zao: Get dressed and come to the fire escape. I'll take you out first. They won't notice. 』

Yan Dun practically sprang upright.

Boss Zao really is the best! I was just worrying about how to escape from those CEOs fighting over me!

The other two had been so aggressive that they made him feel pressured. In contrast, An Zao seemed calm, dignified, and above the competition, making him feel much safer.

What Yan Dun failed to notice was one simple fact:

An Zao wanted him more than anyone else did.