PLT | Chapter 32

Entrusting Wife and Offering Son

When He Chenfeng and Zhou Chenyu came back onstage this time, they had changed into another set of clothes again.

In a troupe like Xiaqing Yuan, where the average age was under thirty, the two of them also counted as seniors, so they always had to dress a bit more solemnly and rarely wore bright colors.

This time, since it was again the final anchoring act, the two of them were wearing dagua of the same style, a dark slate-blue color, embroidered with fine silver ripple patterns.

Yan Chao always felt that the dagua was a very magical kind of clothing. It carried a bit of the shadow of banner dress from the late Qing period, while at the same time also being a symbol of Republican-era literati.

And when this kind of clothing with an old-fashioned style was placed in the modern age, no matter who wore it, it would suddenly produce a special kind of bearing that did not belong to this era.

He Chenfeng had a well-proportioned build. Once he put on the dagua, he no longer looked like the comedic performer he usually did, and instead appeared much more mature and steady.

Zhou Chenyu had already been born with a face like carved jade, and his frame was lean and tall. The dark-colored dagua made him look all the more tall and elegant, handsome and effortlessly romantic.

When they had just been performing xiangsheng with the younger stars earlier, there had not been any gift-receiving segment arranged. But now, the moment they came out, the fans quickly surged forward, instantly crowding the small area in front of the stage until it was packed full.

Both of them had many fans, but if one looked closely, there was still a slight difference in the age groups. He Chenfeng’s fans covered every age bracket, but middle-aged women formed the main force, and when they gave gifts they were not quite so frenzied. On Zhou Chenyu’s side, it was much more obvious. The ones rushing to the front were all uniformly young and pretty girls, each and every one of them shouting “Chenyu-gege” with all their might from below.

Yan Chao himself also had plenty of fans, and when recording programs, he had seen more than enough support scenes. But this kind of direct interaction between xiangsheng audiences and performers, this immediate, almost overwhelming enthusiasm coming right at you, was something not often seen between ordinary celebrities and their fans.

Seeing them receive such a warm welcome, Yan Chao felt genuinely happy for Xiaqing Yuan from the bottom of his heart.

A full several minutes passed, and there were still many people whose gifts had not been handed over. The two of them soothed the remaining fans while returning to the center of the stage.

All the other gifts were placed at the side of the stage, but Zhou Chenyu alone carried back a folding fan that a fan had given him and returned behind the table.

The moment he had just come to a stop, he slowly opened the fan one-handed.

In an instant, the audience below burst into a wave of commotion and hooting.

Yan Chao focused his eyes and looked. On the fan were four large characters written in bold, wildly flowing calligraphy: ChenyuLuoyan.

…Respect.

The CP had been danced right in front of the actual people involved, and the actual person involved had even happily accepted it.

But had anyone asked the opinion of the other actual person involved?!

Zhou Chenyu even seemed afraid other people would not see it. With a smug look on his face, he waved the fan twice.

The commotion lasted for a while. Only after He Chenfeng also returned to the microphone did the venue gradually quiet down.

He Chenfeng looked around the whole audience before saying, “We’ve truly been blessed by everyone’s support. Our Xia Yuan’s business is getting better and better now, to the point that we can even put on a ten-thousand-person show.”

Zhou Chenyu said, “I heard that when you all were snatching tickets this time, you even crashed the server.”

The audience answered again and again.

He Chenfeng smiled and said, “That’s all thanks to our troupe master. You’ve worked hard.”

Zhou Chenyu said, “No, no, no, we’re all basking in the light of Film Emperor You.”

The two of them, who bickered with each other as a daily routine, suddenly started engaging in commercial mutual praise, and quite a few people in the audience burst out laughing.

He Chenfeng said, “What now, from a vase you’ve become a glowing vase?”

Zhou Chenyu said, “Exactly, didn’t I? Just now a little girl said to me, ‘Gege, your eyes glow!’”

They had barely traded a couple lines of mutual flattery before they started using themselves for gua. Zhou Chenyu even mimicked the fan’s tone with perfect lifelike accuracy, and the audience burst into laughter again.

Pointing at Zhou Chenyu, He Chenfeng said, “Last time he told me that when he went over to someone’s house as a guest, the old lady got so excited the moment she saw him that she pointed at him and said, ‘You, you’re that one! That one!’”

Zhou Chenyu picked it up, “He Chenfeng’s partner!”

Amid the audience’s laughter, He Chenfeng said, “So I got to thinking, me, He Chenfeng, everybody knows me, but I still have to properly introduce the one beside me here, so from now on he can have a bit of a name.”

He was using fan-circle slang with practiced ease, and the gua landed without the slightest hesitation.

Of course Zhou Chenyu was not someone without a name. It was simply their usual practice for the dougen to introduce his partner after taking the stage, in order to emphasize the importance of the penggen performer.

He Chenfeng pointed at Zhou Chenyu. “My partner, Xi Shi.”

Cooperating with him, Zhou Chenyu knit his brows together and clasped his hands to his chest.

Immediately, a whole wave of “ying ying ying” rose from the audience below.

If someone else had acted so affected, the audience would definitely have burst into laughter. Unfortunately, Zhou Chenyu was just too good-looking, so even that affected manner made the girls’ hearts flutter.

The very next second, Zhou Chenyu turned serious again. “What Xi Shi? Speak properly.”

He Chenfeng said, “How am I not speaking properly? They all say you have the beauty to make fish sink and geese fall, don’t they? Isn’t it written right there on your fan?”

Amid the audience’s laughter, He Chenfeng introduced him with great seriousness. “My partner, Zhou Chenyu.”

After finishing the self-introduction, He Chenfeng spoke again. “Recently, there have been a lot of rumors online about the two of us.”

Zhou Chenyu frowned. “Oh? What are they saying?”

He Chenfeng said, “They’re saying the two of us have split up.”

The audience immediately understood. This was mocking those solo stans and haters online who had been crazily spreading rumors that the two of them were going to split their partnership.

Zhou Chenyu waved a hand. “Pure nonsense.”

He Chenfeng said, “Today I absolutely must clarify this. With the ten thousand people present here all witnessing it for me, I’m putting my words right here today, ah, ”

Zhou Chenyu said, “Alright then, say it.”

He Chenfeng said, “This isn’t a rumor.”

Audience: “Yiii, ”

The moment Zhou Chenyu heard that, he immediately said in a wounded voice, “No, what exactly have I done to you? How come you’re severing ties with me behind my back?”

He Chenfeng said, “And you’re still asking me why? Behind my back, you’ve gone and severed sleeves from me!”

“Severing robes and cutting off friendship” and “severing robes and cutting off sleeves” differed by only one character, yet their meanings were completely different.

Thinking of what “cutting sleeves” meant, together with Zhou Chenyu’s recent day-to-day behavior, the audience instantly laughed themselves crazy.

“I’ll tell you why,” He Chenfeng said, pointing at Zhou Chenyu. “Behind my back, he’s secretly married!”

Even though they knew full well that nothing said on a xiangsheng stage could be taken as true, the group of young girls in the audience still could not help their hearts clenching.

Zhou Chenyu said angrily, “Stop talking nonsense. Since when did I secretly get married?”

But He Chenfeng ignored him and went on talking to the audience. “I really feel bad for all of you. You’re all his girlfriend fans, crying and shouting every day, saying things like, ‘Gege, you’re not allowed to date.’”

Zhou Chenyu patted his chest. “I have idol self-awareness, alright!”

He Chenfeng cursed, “Self-awareness my ass! Don’t think I don’t know, you’ve got a beauty hidden in your golden house!”

Zhou Chenyu looked completely bewildered. “What the hell are you talking about? Say that again? What have I hidden in a golden house?”

He Chenfeng said, “Stop playing dumb. The other day I went over to your place, and I saw your wife!”

Only when they heard that line did people in the audience finally react, and a wave of applause rose.

Anyone who had heard Entrusting Wife and Offering Son knew that once the penggen performer’s wife was mentioned, that meant they were entering the act.

So that whole stretch just now had been a seamless piaoba’er, and the girls in the audience instantly relaxed.

Zhou Chenyu continued acting bewildered. “My wife? Who is my wife? How come I don’t know her?”

He Chenfeng said, “Stop pretending. I even remember what your wife looks like.”

Zhou Chenyu asked, “What does my wife look like?”

He Chenfeng gestured with his hands. “Tall figure, young, good-looking, great temperament.”

Zhou Chenyu gave a snort of laughter. “Oh, so you still have a bit of conscience. I thought you were going to make up some Ruhua for me.”

He Chenfeng continued, gesturing toward his own body. “Wearing a full set of haute couture, the latest style from Givenchy.”

Yan Chao in the audience could not help being startled. He lowered his head for a look, and only then did he realize that the black top he had grabbed casually today happened to be Givenchy.

Zhou Chenyu said, “Hoh, my wife’s pretty lavish.”

He Chenfeng pointed again at his face. “On the nose is a pair of gold-rimmed glasses.”

Subconsciously, Yan Chao reached up and pushed his glasses.

Zhou Chenyu said, “Mm, my wife is cultured.”

He Chenfeng pointed at his ear again. “In the left ear is a diamond.”

Without meaning to, Yan Chao reached up and touched the stud in his left ear.

By this point, a small wave of commotion had already been stirred up in the audience.

Zhou Chenyu stretched out a hand to stop He Chenfeng. “Hold on a second. How come my wife only has one ear inlaid?”

He Chenfeng said, “Ten carats.”

Zhou Chenyu suddenly understood. “No wonder. If there were two, I wouldn’t be able to afford it.”

He Chenfeng pointed toward the feet. “On the feet is a pair of AJ, globally limited edition.”

The instant those words came out, the audience seating immediately exploded with a wave of screams.

Yan Chao subconsciously lowered his head and looked.

How was it that today he just so happened to be wearing a pair of AJ too?

By now, the audience below had already vaguely begun to sense who exactly the two men onstage were implying.

But Zhou Chenyu promptly raised an objection. “No, wait a second. Why would my wife be wearing AJ perfectly fine? What, is she playing basketball or something?”

“Your wife’s not a basketball player,” He Chenfeng said. “He’s a host.”

Footnotes:

[1] “commercial mutual praise” 商业互吹, internet slang for obviously performative mutual compliments, usually delivered for comic effect.

[2] “can have a bit of a name” plays on 饭圈 slang, where “having a name” means having recognition, visibility, or fandom presence.

[3] “Xi Shi” refers to one of the Four Beauties of ancient China, so calling Zhou Chenyu “Xi Shi” is a teasing way of praising his looks in an exaggerated, theatrical manner.

[4] “piaoba’er” refers to the opening lead-in or introductory setup before formally entering the main xiangsheng act.

[5] “Ruhua” is a stock name often used jokingly to suggest an unattractive or comically exaggerated woman, so Zhou Chenyu means he expected He Chenfeng to invent an ugly wife for him.