All at once, Hakjo became curious about Chaegong’s pheromones. He wanted to smell the scent that they said every omega had. It was the first thought he had ever had about such a thing, having been born a beta and never once curious about that world.

People usually said it was a scent that suited the person, so maybe it was a mist-like fragrance like his, or perhaps, unexpectedly, something crisp and refreshing. Hakjo himself did not know why he was wondering about it.

After a brief hesitation, Hakjo carefully pulled Chaegong, who seemed to have no intention of stopping his tears, into his arms. Looking down at the body pressed stiffly against his chest and burying its face there, he found that he no longer cared what Chaegong’s scent was. He simply liked this situation. Enough that he did not want to think about anything else.

Inside that embrace, strangely unfamiliar yet also familiar, Chaegong blinked slowly. The solid body was familiar; the fact that he could not catch that heavy scent was what felt unfamiliar. And so Chaegong, unable to push away or draw closer, could only stand there.

When the large hand rubbed his back, he could feel his breathing gradually steadying. Trapped in those arms, unable to see or smell anything, it felt as though no one else could see him either.

The moment he thought that Lee Chaegong, embarrassing and pathetic, had vanished from everyone’s sight, his body, which had been rigid and frozen, slowly loosened. Even Chaegong himself did not know why he was acting like this. He had had so many reasons to cry in his life that, in a strange reversal, he had become bad at crying. He had never imagined he would burst into tears in the street like a child over something so trivial. He thought he had long since graduated from fearing people’s gazes.

Chaegong had been bullied all through his school years. No one ever paid him any attention, and yet precisely because of that, he stood out. Things like notices that skipped over his seat entirely, or sitting alone in a corner during gym class.

Those days should have been far behind him by now, so why was he only now becoming afraid of being alone? Chaegong sniffled.

“Are you feeling better now?”

Chaegong did not want to answer that gentle question. There was no real reason. If he nodded and said he was fine, Hakjo would no longer hold him. In his arms, it felt exactly like being held by Hyeonjo. The once-gentle boy came to mind, and the boy who was still sometimes gentle came to mind as well.

Chaegong wiped away the remaining tears with the back of his hand and slipped out of Hakjo’s arms. His swollen face was surely ugly, but Hakjo had already seen Chaegong’s face when it had been stained blue. With his eyes squeezed shut and then opened again, Chaegong slowly lifted the corners of his mouth.

“I, um, got lost on the way…”

It seemed better to be some foolish guy who got lost not far from the officetel and bawled his eyes out than a hopeless idiot who had only now realized how pathetic he was and was trembling with fear of people’s gazes.

Hakjo said nothing to Chaegong’s excuse. He only nodded. Then he said he had just been on his way there too, and guided Chaegong by the arm.

Walking beside Hakjo, Chaegong felt the attention from others fade just a little. It was because Hakjo was taller and broader than he was.

After walking like that for quite a while, Hakjo asked carefully if Chaegong had come outside for some errand. Did he know Chaegong had no friends? Fidgeting only with his fingernails, Chaegong answered obediently.

“I didn’t have anything to treat you to.”

He had nothing, and nothing about him was particularly impressive, but he still wanted to treat a guest properly. After all, Hakjo was the second person who had talked to him this long without mocking him or ignoring him.

Hyeonjo, who had been the first, had changed recently like everyone else, but still.

“So I was going to buy something…”

To have to admit with his own mouth that he had been unable to even handle grocery shopping properly and had been blubbering like a child in the street was rather sad. Unable to bear looking at the face Hakjo would surely wrinkle in exasperation, Chaegong lowered his eyes.

“That works out well.”

“…”

“I was planning to return the favor for everything I’ve been treated to all this time.”

Saying that, Hakjo reached out and shook what he had been holding in front of Chaegong’s eyes. Chaegong did not know it, but a logo from a famous snack shop was printed on the shopping bag.

In truth, Hakjo had also noticed that the things Chaegong offered him were becoming more and more meager. Since he wasn’t coming as a proper guest, it would have been fine even if Chaegong only set out a glass of water, but Chaegong didn’t seem to think so. Hakjo was secretly glad he had brought cookies. Looking at Chaegong’s eyes, round as bells, Hakjo smiled.

Chaegong had always thought cookies were all the same, nothing special, and he hunched his shoulders at the sight of the ones wrapped in elegant packaging. After a moment of hesitation, he reached out at Hakjo’s gesture and picked up one of the pale-colored cookies. The lump of flour in his mouth melted away like cotton candy.

It was the first time in his life Chaegong had ever tasted anything like it, and with his eyes wide, he crunched through the cookie. Hakjo, who had been watching him closely over a cup of green tea brewed from cheap tea bags Chaegong had bought months earlier, slowly lifted the corners of his mouth.

After that, Hakjo always brought sweet desserts and the like. The things he offered so naturally, as if he were truly Chaegong’s guest, were always bought from famous bakeries or well-known hotels. Of course, Chaegong had no way of knowing that, so he accepted the gifts with awkward, hesitant hands.

Leaving aside how pleasant it was for his mouth, the truth was that whenever the day came that Hakjo visited, Chaegong’s heart would always race with unease. He was afraid of being found out, but fortunately Hakjo was a beta, and perhaps because he left no scent behind, Hyeonjo didn’t seem to know Hakjo had ever been there.

Keeping this first secret made Chaegong’s chest tighten. But at the same time, he felt an inexplicable thrill. It was because this was the first friend he’d ever had. Of course, Hakjo clearly wouldn’t think of Chaegong as a friend, but still.

The feeling born from the word secret brought a new wind to Chaegong’s same old daily life.

“If you’re twins, then you and Hyeonjo must have the same birthday, right?”

“I suppose so.”

By now it was a fairly familiar scene. After handing Hakjo tea he had brewed himself, Chaegong asked with shining eyes. He had never had siblings, and had never had friends, so Hakjo, who always answered his questions so earnestly, was fascinating. Hakjo, staring blankly at the fragrant tea, slowly opened his mouth.

“When is your birthday, Chaegong ssi?”

My birthday. At the unexpected question, Chaegong thought of his resident registration number. Only then did his birthday come to mind.

“…April 1st.”

Chaegong had no memory of ever being congratulated on his birthday. Maybe there had been some when he was very young, before his mother left home, but at least in his memory there was none. It was also the first time he had ever told anyone his birthday.

Though the children who had somehow learned his birthday had teased him that it suited him perfectly, he had never once been congratulated. Of course, Hyeonjo had no interest in something like Chaegong’s birthday either. Hakjo hesitated for a moment, wet his lips with his tongue, then barely managed to speak.

“…It seems like a day that suits Chaegong ssi. The day cherry blossoms bloom.”

Chaegong’s eyes went round. He had been startled by such sweet words from someone who always seemed so stiff, but then he saw the embarrassed flush on Hakjo’s cheeks and a smile escaped him. It felt like being congratulated on a birthday that wasn’t even here yet. In the end, when his laughter burst out, Hakjo, red-faced, stammered out an explanation.

“I didn’t mean anything by it,”

“Thank you.”

His usually expressionless face looked quite different just by widening his eyes a little. It was a completely different atmosphere from Hyeonjo, whose expressions changed so richly and who wore such kind smiles, but Hakjo’s flustered face was handsome all the same.

“This is the first time anyone’s ever said that to me.”

“…Is that so?”

“Yes. No one has ever congratulated me on my birthday before.”

Only after saying it did Chaegong worry that Hakjo might think he was acting pitiful, and he began to speak, but before he could, a warm hand was already taking both of his. Perhaps because he had been holding a hot teacup, Hakjo’s hands were very warm.

“Then I will congratulate you. …On your birthday, I mean.”

Only after he had said it did embarrassment rush in, and both of his cheeks grew even redder than before. But he did not look away from Chaegong. Chaegong, staring at that crimson color, burst out laughing.

“It’s still a long way off.”

“I’ll wait until then.”

It was late autumn, turning toward early winter. That meant warm spring days were still far away. What on earth was so important about a birthday that he could say it with such certainty? Chaegong still couldn’t wipe the smile from his face as he nodded firmly.

“Then wait for me, and be the first to say it. Say happy birthday.”

“…Understood. I will. I definitely will.”

“You don’t have to go that far.”

“No. I value promises very highly, so I absolutely will.”

Hakjo said it with shining eyes. He didn’t even blink, as if he meant to carve Chaegong’s smile into his eyelids. During that time, Chaegong was thinking of something else. A promise. He had promised not to open the door. The sudden voice that came to mind sent guilt creeping up slowly. After hesitating for a moment, Chaegong asked carefully,

“By the way, I heard you don’t get along well with Hyeonjo…”

Hakjo was silent for a while. Slowly releasing Chaegong’s hand, he stared into space.

“When Hyeonjo was young, he wasn’t well, so he went to recover at our maternal relatives’ home in the provinces. I think some misunderstanding arose during that process, and he came to believe our parents had abandoned him. When he was in middle school, the doctor said his body had become as healthy as any normal person, so he returned to the main house. But as you may have heard, I’m a beta. At the same time, Hyeonjo manifested as an alpha. Since the elders thought it would be better for a company head to be an alpha, Hyeonjo, who had just returned to the main house, became the heir. And it seems he thinks he came to live at the main house because he manifested as an alpha. He dislikes the whole family, but he hates me the most because I lived in the main house as the eldest son. Anyway, because of that resentment, he rarely comes to family gatherings. It’s a pity. Mother is very upset about it.”

Chaegong couldn’t stop his face from falling into a sad expression. He felt sorry for Hyeonjo, who must have been deeply hurt by that misunderstanding, and for Hakjo, who was hated by his own younger brother.

✿ • ✿ • ✿