“Suhyeok, Young Master Suhyeok?”

“That bastard is Oh Giju’s real sponsor. The guy actually taking Oh Giju around is someone Jung Suhyeok has set up as the face man.”

“Um, since when?”

“About four years ago.”

A sigh like a groan slipped past my lips. Jung Suhyeok was Jung Inhyuk’s younger brother. The relationship between the two was the worst of the worst. It was so bad they didn’t even reveal they were brothers when they went out anywhere. Jung Suhyeok, the ambitious second son, envied and resented Jung Inhyuk, who had been chosen as heir simply for being the eldest.

Only then did the scattered pieces of the puzzle in my head start clicking into place. The reason Oh Giju had been acquitted and able to make a comeback after three years… it all made sense with the three syllables Jung Suhyeok.

And around the time of that incident, Jung Suhyeok, who had been a director in Moosung Group’s strategic planning office, was suddenly demoted to the Busan semiconductor plant. The thought flashed through my head that maybe Jung Suhyeok had been demoted because he was involved in that drug case.

“Honestly, I want to tell you to pull out of this movie.”

“Ah, n-no. Please, please don’t.”

“Then keep Park Suwon with you. He’s not even your friend anymore anyway. Think of him as nothing more than a secretary.”

“Manager, at least put someone else…”

“There’s no dog that can protect you as well as Park Suwon can. Don’t make me say it twice.”

“……”

“If you hate it, then quit everything.”

✿ • ✿ • ✿

I was sitting at my desk in the study, looking down at the color proposal requested by Moosung Electronics. Jung Inhyuk had told me to write it up and bring it as quickly as possible, but the words just wouldn’t sink into my eyes. I tapped the desk with my fingers and fell into deep thought.

The fact that Jung Suhyeok was Oh Giju’s sponsor kept bothering me. Naturally, doubts about the incident from three years ago surfaced. That day at the club, Oh Giju kept provoking me and pestering me relentlessly.

Not only did he keep offering me drinks, he even punched me without hesitation to force me to drink. And Oh Giju was clearly dead drunk, but the drug test came back negative.

Thinking carefully about it, there were plenty of things that didn’t make sense. Could I have been the target from the very beginning? Or perhaps even Jung Inhyuk had been the target.

Of course, it could all have been paranoia or a series of coincidences, but something about it was definitely dirty.

I couldn’t stand the frustration, so I opened the window, leaned halfway out, and reached my hand out into the steady rain outside. Raindrops fell onto my palm and soon began pooling shallowly. The weather was cold, so the wet skin of my hand was turning red and numb, but I just stared at it.

My already low mood sank even further because of the complicated thoughts in my head. I stood there blankly until my hand was frozen stiff and I could no longer feel it, then suddenly came to my senses and shook my head hard.

I closed the window and turned back, breathing hard. A pencil holder on the desk caught my eye. I instinctively reached out, grabbed a box cutter, then put it down and threw the pencil holder into the trash can.

I gnawed at my nails, clearly showing the anxiety that had suddenly invaded me without warning. I knew what this instinctively controlling feeling meant.

“Lee Shinjae, what are you doing? Don’t do this. Please.”

I kept muttering to myself as I urgently opened the desk drawer and pulled out a cigarette, putting it in my mouth. I lit it and took a long drag, and a harsh cough burst out from the strong smoke.

I crouched down with my back against the wall. Cigarette in my mouth, I rubbed my freezing hands against the waistband of my pants. Even when I wrapped them up, the numbness made me feel nothing at all. Without thinking, I brought the glowing red cigarette tip close to my palm. It should have been hot, but I couldn’t feel the heat. All my nerves were focused on the burning tip.

“Lee Shinjae.”

Just as the tip of the cigarette was about to touch my palm, the door flew open and Jung Inhyuk came into the study. He immediately yanked me to my feet and pressed my hand holding the cigarette against the desk, rubbing it back and forth. The ember crumbled and gradually went out.

“Get a grip.”

I looked up at Jung Inhyuk with a dazed face. A crooked laugh slipped out. Jung Inhyuk cursed harshly and slapped my cheek. With the crack of the blow, the part of me that had been tied down somewhere came back.

“I told you not to hurt your own body. Why the hell don’t you listen? Is your head just decoration?”

“Ah… it’s not that,”

I couldn’t remember clearly what had happened in the past few minutes. I had definitely been looking at the rain falling outside the window. Before I could even steady my stinging cheek, Jung Inhyuk grabbed my collar and dragged me roughly along. My feet tangled and I fell to the floor, then was thrown right out of the living room.

Jung Inhyuk grabbed my T-shirt and tore it apart savagely. With a sharp ripping sound from the fabric, bare skin was exposed. As if that weren’t enough, he stripped off my pants too. Under the bright light, my shabby body was laid bare.

“Lee Shinjae, if you have eyes, look at your own body.”

“……”

“Your body looks worse than some bastard who spends all day beating people up, you know that?”

Jung Inhyuk shouted at me, breathing hard. I lowered my head and looked at my body. All over the parts hidden under my clothes were injuries from self-harm. The insides of both thighs, especially, had been cut up to an ugly degree. I tried to bring my thighs together to cover the wounds, but Jung Inhyuk stepped on my leg and kept me from moving.

“Why aren’t you getting counseling?”

“I-I will. This time I really will.”

“If you don’t fix that filthy habit, then there’ll be no movie and no nothing from here on out. Before I throw you into a mental hospital, get counseling or take your damn medicine, and fix it, no matter what.”

“…Yes.”

Jung Inhyuk turned and sat on the living room sofa. I gathered the clothes that had fallen onto the floor into my arms and cried silently. The urge to self-harm that sometimes came without warning was hard to suppress.

At first it had been stubbornness, but at some point it had reached a level I could no longer handle. Looking at the wounds as they healed made me miserable, but before I knew it, I would touch them again. It was an endless loop.

At the stinging sensation in my palm, I opened the hand that had been clutching my clothes and saw a small blister, probably from the cigarette. I barely managed to hold back the urge to bite it open and draw blood, then stood up.

“Get dressed and come out.”

At Jung Inhyuk’s words, I gave a small nod, then a tiny cushion flew over and hit my head. I stared at the cushion that had fallen to the floor, and tears suddenly spilled out. I covered my mouth as a sob escaped and forced myself to calm down.

“What the hell did you do right to be bawling like this?”

“……”

“Hey, you bastard, is your mouth just decoration too?”

“…No. I’ll change clothes and come out.”

I went into the study and closed the door. Just as I was about to toss the torn T-shirt into the trash, I spotted the pencil holder, now a total mess. I had tried to hold back, I really had, but it was no use… Tears fell in drops from the injustice of it all. I took the pencil holder out of the trash and set it back on the desk.

I grabbed whatever clothes I could and threw them on, then pulled down my ball cap. When I went out to the living room, Jung Inhyuk tossed me the car keys. I caught the car keys flying toward me in a neat arc.

“Come out.”

“…Yes.”

Jung Inhyuk sat in the passenger seat, not the driver’s seat. I had no choice but to take off my padded jacket and put it in the back seat before getting into the driver’s seat. It was still raining. I adjusted the seat to fit my body and took the wheel.

“Where to?”

“H Club.”

I entered the destination into the navigation system and took a deep breath. I was already mentally uneasy, and because it was raining, I’d once had an accident on a day like this, so my shoulders stiffened on their own. I tried to calm my mind and shifted the gear. Just as I was about to set off, Jung Inhyuk grabbed my hand.

“Get out.”

“…Huh?”

“I’m driving.”

I had briefly thought, no way… but I quickly erased that thought from my head. I hurriedly opened the car door and got out. Brushing past Jung Inhyuk, I moved into the passenger seat.

Sitting there felt much easier than sitting in the driver’s seat. I kneaded my stiff shoulders with my hands and looked out the window. My mind felt a little better than when I’d been at home.

The faint pheromones that filled the narrow car somehow brought a sense of stability.

After we got caught at a red light for a moment, Jung Inhyuk rubbed at the corners of his eyes again and again, looking tired. The words I wanted to say that I would drive instead rose to my throat, but didn’t come out. It was dark, and it was raining, so to be honest, I wasn’t confident.

Jung Inhyuk turned his head and looked at me. But then he shifted his gaze and pressed his temples as if he had a headache.

“Lee Shinjae, I’m saying this again, if you start feeling like that, ask for help. Don’t act stupid.”

“……”

“There are CCTV cameras all over the house, and if you ask for help, someone will always respond.”

“…Yes, I will.”

I answered obediently. I didn’t want to bare my teeth at Jung Inhyuk, and I didn’t want to speak to him in a sarcastic tone. Right now, I just liked the comfort of this small car and didn’t want to be disturbed. As if he understood my feelings, he ignored the navigation’s warning that said “You have deviated from the route” and sped down the road.

My body grew lazily drowsy, and I started to nod off. Before I knew it, I had fallen asleep. At some point, I opened my eyes and saw that dawn had broken. And the car was still driving down the road.

✿ • ✿ • ✿

It was the day of the production ritual held to wish for safe filming before the crank-in of <Villain>. These days some directors skip the ritual, but Director Yoon Pansu had made it clear from the time the contract was stamped that the production ritual would absolutely take place.