“Mm... no. Rather than that....”

Andrea trailed off for a moment, then lifted his lowered eyes and spoke.

“There are musicians stationed at the imperial palace, aren’t there?”

“Yes, your majesty.”

“I’d like to listen to some music quietly. Mm, the reception room would be good.”

“Then I will call the performer your majesty often requested.”

It was a relief that he did not ask which instrument he wanted to hear. He had no knowledge to choose something like that.

“And... invite Duke Valdeck to join me in listening to music.”

“Yes, your majesty.”

The attendant answered with a faint smile.

***

The reception room, one of the emperor’s private spaces, was decorated elegantly and classically even to Andrea, who knew nothing about such things. When Andrea came out to the reception room and sat down, the performer who had already arrived and was waiting gave a salute, then sat in one corner and began to play a string instrument.

A beautiful melody flowed in time with the performer’s movements. Normally he would have been completely absorbed in that melody, but because he kept thinking Kiel would be here soon, he kept glancing at the door.

In the long stretch of anxiety, one piece ended, and by the time the next began.

The reception room door, which he had been unable to take his eyes off, finally opened.

Andrea stared blankly as Kiel entered the reception room, without even realizing it. His movements as he came inside were restrained, like a trained soldier. His tall frame, muscular and solid body, and expressionless face were enough to bring to mind a sturdy castle wall.

“You summoned me, your majesty.”

Kiel, no, Duke Valdeck, greeted him with a light salute.

Andrea held his breath without meaning to, looking at the sunlight pouring in through the reception room’s large window and the brilliantly shining golden eyes.

‘Kiel!’

His whole body shook with the urge to call out his name right then and there. The lips he had barely forced shut with reason twitched slightly.

“Thank you for coming.”

Andrea replied softly, his voice slightly trembling. Duke Valdeck lowered his head lightly once more.

He was indifferent and expressionless to the point of seeming bothered. But Andrea could only stare at Duke Valdeck in a daze, overlapping him with the boy who had smiled brilliantly under the sunlight.

Feeling Andrea’s persistent gaze, the corners of Duke Valdeck’s eyes stiffened slightly.

“Sit down.”

Andrea only then came to his senses and offered the seat opposite him. But instead of sitting, Duke Valdeck only straightened his back even more. It felt like a rejection of him, and disappointment surged from deep in his chest.

“What brings you to invite me today?”

Duke Valdeck asked in a stiff tone while still standing.

Andrea’s attention was drawn even to the word “again” in his words.

“I... have I invited you before?”

Andrea asked in a slightly hoarse voice. Unlike himself, who had lived isolated in the monastery like a mouse with no sound, Kiel would have properly lived his life during those years. Unlike Andrea, who had only been a fleeting connection, he might have formed a deep bond with Michael. Thinking that way, the thought of secretly revealing his identity to Kiel quickly shrank away.

“Have you truly lost your memory?”

There was a faint note of accusation in Duke Valdeck’s low voice. As if he did not believe Michael had lost his memory, he fixed Andrea with intense eyes and demanded the truth.

Andrea lifted the teacup in front of him to hide his inner turmoil. Then, half hiding his face in the steam rising from it, he gave a light nod.

“I see.”

Fortunately, Duke Valdeck did not try to press him further. He only stared quietly at Andrea with a face that made it impossible to guess what he was thinking.

Andrea fixed his gaze on the teacup to hide his troubled, confused eyes.

What on earth had Michael and Kiel been to each other? If he revealed here that he was not Michael but Andrea, how would Kiel react?

“You have certainly changed.”

At the words coming from above his head, Andrea carefully lifted his eyes. Without a sound or a trace of movement, Duke Valdeck had come right up close. His golden eyes, bright with light yet sharp like a beast’s, were so keen they seemed as if they would pierce through Andrea’s insides.

“In what way?”

Andrea asked cautiously, meeting Duke Valdeck’s eyes. Even though it was only their gazes tangling, his heart pounded as if it would burst.

“The former emperor’s eyes were always...”

Duke Valdeck trailed off there, as if he did not intend to say the rest. Slowly, he reached out, leaving his hand at a distance that was almost, but not quite, enough to brush Andrea’s eye area as he continued.

“Your majesty’s eyes now are like a young boy newly come into the world.”

At Duke Valdeck’s words, Andrea’s hand around the teacup began to tremble faintly.

A young boy newly come into the world.

Those words were no different from piercing straight through Andrea’s current situation.

Could he have noticed? Had he realized I am Andrea?

Andrea bit hard into the soft flesh inside his mouth, hiding his eyes as they wavered and shook downward. The desire to reveal the truth surged up, but reason suppressed it.

When they were children, there had been nothing to hold back between them. But now, both their positions and circumstances were far too different. Andrea could not help but think about the reality he was in now.

Yes. Kiel was no longer just a boy, but Duke Valdeck. He was someone surrounded layer upon layer by the high noble title of duke, his territory, and all sorts of political ties and circumstances that would be intricately entangled within this vast empire.

When he learned the truth, he might welcome Andrea and help him, but there was also no lack of possibility that he would instead take that truth in hand like a sword and cut Andrea down with it.

He had lived without knowing a single thing about how the world worked, but Andrea’s head was packed with the knowledge of books he had read day and night in the monastery study. At the very least, he had enough sense to make this kind of calculation.

As he picked at his fingertips, the piece ended. The music that had felt beautiful had somehow turned into a noisy sound stirring up confusion. Andrea gestured for the performance to stop. The performers quickly stopped playing and put down their instruments.

The reception room was soon covered in heavy silence.

“Your majesty.”

Duke Valdeck called to Andrea, who was sitting there with his eyes lowered quietly. Only after Andrea calmly settled his wavering eyes did he finally lift them and look at him.

“Do you remember that boy?”

Duke Valdeck, no, Kiel, asked. It was a question with no context, but Andrea could tell he was asking whether he remembered himself, who had once been a boy.

He was suspecting that the current “your majesty” was Andrea. Or perhaps he was simply testing him.

‘Remember. Of course I remember, Kiel.’

That word surged up to the end of his throat. But Andrea desperately held it back.

Was Kiel asking with the pure heart of the boy who had once tried to help him escape the mansion, or was he asking to use him, the one who had become “your majesty,” or to drag him down into the abyss? At least until he knew that for certain, he could not answer.

The long time spent in the monastery. Andrea had missed Kiel terribly. But his longing for Kiel was not enough to overcome his survival instinct.

At last, he had escaped the narrow mansion and the monastery and come out into the wide world. Andrea did not want to be imprisoned again or die. He did not want to live alone in a place no one knew and die alone there.

He wanted to live. He wanted to live a very vivid life. So at least for now, he could not answer Kiel.

“As you heard, I have lost all my memories right now. I do not even remember who the boy you speak of is.”

Andrea said this while gripping the teacup so tightly it seemed he would crush it. After hearing his answer, Duke Valdeck quietly lowered his black eyelashes, then soon gave a small nod.

“Then I take my leave.”

Duke Valdeck paid his respects and turned away without lingering. Andrea had to strain himself to stop his hand from reaching out on its own, wanting to grab him.

After Kiel left the reception room, the reddish light of sunset had already begun to seep in beyond the large window. Andrea let out a heavy breath and closed his eyes.

Was I really making the right choice?

He did not know.